Tags: page

Author: Carnage, et al.

Date: Tuesday June 16th, 2026

Hello, we're The Surfeit System!

(System name subject to change)

We're a system of at least thirty critters; we've identified as nonhuman since 2023, and we discovered our systemhood in 2025. Our interests and hobbies are varied, but we share an interest in roller derby, video games, visual art, and caring for our pets (two dogs, six rats).

Our current roster consists of:

• Echo • Lilith • Rocky • Poppy • Petrichor • Feldspar • barcode • Luna • Marigold • Ruby • Slate • critter • Carnage • Red • Motes • Sophie

This is not an exhaustive list - there are a lot of us that don't yet have names, or haven't fronted yet.

Our blog posts.

Tags: blog

Author: The Surfeit System

Date: Monday July 13th, 2026

Chapter 0: An Introduction

Why do you care about this?

We (the member of the Surfeit System) have not engaged with the community or works of the Human Domestication Guide fandom in any significant way, despite many of us landing squarely in the target audience of the works. This would likely have continued to be the case for a while longer, but recently some authors that we hold in high regard have been discussing the setting and the fandom. A particularly interesting-to-us point that came up is the idea that much of the setting’s guidelines were put in place in order to make the setting less or un- “problematic” – the idea that as long as stories are written within the rules of the existing universe, there are no true victims and your enjoyment can be guilt-free.

While that is an interesting idea to dissect by itself, I also learned that the original work of the fandom, Human Domestication Guide by GlitchyRobo, exists in two forms – an original, posted to Read-Only Mind, and a revised version that was posted to Archive of our Own. The existence of these two copies of the same work combine to form a sort of fandom-morality Rosetta stone – what transformations must a work of erotic horror need to undergo to become less problematic? How must the story be changed to ensure that the victim of kidnapping, dehumanization, and mind-breaking is no longer a victim, and instead better off for the experience? What does it take for an author to revise an evil empire into benevolent saviors while keeping the story interesting?

Hold on to your florets, because we're going to find out.

Tags: blog

Author: The Surfeit System

Date: Monday July 13th, 2026

Chapter 1: Xeno Machinations / Xeno Machinations

Elvira’s meets her captor and reflects on her past. When faced with abduction and total powerlessness, what's the difference between a refugee and a rebel?

Synopsis:

The story opens with our protagonist, Elvira, loosely restrained and lucid, protesting her freedom and superiority. She meets her captor, Akash Nele, Third Bloom, and learns of the fate of her compatriots (including Mara, who seems to have adjusted very quickly). The Affini’s physical power and pharmacological prowess are established along with the legal grounds for Elvira’s abduction. In a drugged haze, she reflects on the one-sided conflict between the Terran Accord and the Affini Compact, her pursuit and capture, and thinks about what awaits her.

Changes:

“'Fuck! You can’t do this, xeno!'”

Elvira (orignal version)

“'Fuck! You can’t do this, you fucking weed!'”

Elvira (revised version)

This change to the opening line of the story isn't very significant just yet. However, if you’re reading along with us, we’d encourage you to take note of the language Elvira uses to describe the Affini and how it changes between the two versions.

This next section is what inspired us to do a comparative read-through in the first place; some of these changes are very revealing. First, the original:

"As the pilot of a small-medium gunship, she rarely left the interface tank that allowed her to see and feel from the ship’s sensors, and not rely solely on her biological senses. In the past several months it’d been even rarer than before the official end of the war.

The strikegroup she’d been a part of refused to accept the terms of humanity’s surrender, and had been on the run since. “Peacekeeper” forces pulled from now collaborating human governments and affini capture fleets had been on their tail for weeks. They wouldn’t have been able to last half as long if it hadn’t been for her navigator, Mara. But now she and Elvira are both trapped."

And now, the revised version:

"As the pilot of a frigate-gunship, she rarely left the interface tank that allowed her to see and feel from the ship’s sensors and not rely solely on her biological senses. In the past several months, it’d been even rarer than before the official end of the war.

When the Affini Compact, treacherous xenos that they are, somehow managed to reach and overpower the Cosmic Navy’s greatest fleets guarding Sol and Terra itself (surely only due to traitors within the military, she told herself), they quickly forced the Terran Accord’s government to sign a blatantly one-sided settlement, the Human Domestication Treaty, the greatest possible affront to Terran sovereignty in history.

Domestication, what a disgusting euphemism for making good, patriotic Terrans into little more than lap pets of some monstrous shrubbery. That it banned all forms of capitalism and “exploitation” was just adding insult to injury. The Accord wasn’t exploiting anyone! If anything, the Accord was protecting the common person from the damn unions who just wanted to leech off of people who worked for a living!

It filled Elvira with righteous fury, and had led her to spearhead the push for her ship to refuse armistice and join a Free Terran rebellion.

The Humboldt group had been on the run since. Affini capture fleets had been on their tail for months, picking off stragglers one by one. They wouldn’t have been able to last half as long if it hadn’t been for her navigator, Mara.

But now she and Elvira are both trapped."

That's pretty different!

In both versions of the passage, these are thoughts Elvira is having while sedated, being carried to bed, and under the effect of drugs that change her perception of touch. She thinks about the sensory isolation of her interface tank, her mind drifts to the time spent in her ship, and further back to remember how she got here. The original story doesn’t dwell on the past – the Terran Accord was conquered, her strike group tried to escape both the Affini and the Terran collaborators, and now both her and her crewmate Mara have been captured.

The revised passage changes some key details and brings in new ones. The Affini Compact now has so thoroughly overpowered the Cosmic Navy that Elvira assumes traitors must be responsible. The force pursuing Elvira’s strike group is now solely comprised of Affini capture fleets - either the Compact doesn't need the help, or the potential colaborators have nothing of value to offer to the search. The Collective’s fate has been upgraded from a “surrender” to a “settlement”, and instead of Elvira refusing to surrender and choosing to flee, she is now the spearhead of a rebellion refusing an armistice, making her somewhat responsible for her own suffering in the continuing conflict. The weeks of pursuit have stretched out to months, magnifying the continued stress of potential danger of her refusal to submit to the Affini.

There’s also an interesting bit of characterization right in the middle. Instead of the Terran Collective being just a stand-in for whatever Earth-run spacefaring civilization the reader may imagine, it is now explicitly an exploitative, Capitalist regime. On top of that, Elvira herself is shown to be a proud patriot – the original text had her show some human-supremacist views, but didn’t dip into the Terran nationalism this hard.

A final point to keep an eye out for is the way in which the Affini's treatment of humans has softened - it's not as prevalent here as in later chapters, but it will become a bigger theme as we proceed. For now, think about why the author adjusted the wording from "humanity's surrender" to "settlement with the Terran Accord."

The remaining changes in this chapter are mostly insignificant – some formatting, readability, or changes to pacing. Aside from pointing out when a now-standard HDG word or phrase is used, I won’t be bringing up minor changes like this in future chapters. Holo-displays in the original are swapped for tablets, “rebel ships” are adjusted to “feralist ships” in the wording of the treaty. A paragraph is added to emphasize the size and physical prowess of the Affini in comparison to our main character.

Discussion:

As discussed in Chapter 0, the part of this analysis that is interesting to me is using the changes between the old text and the new to see what was required to make this story more "canon-friendly". Some changes, like adjusting language to use more fandom-accepted terms, don't have a large impact on the work. Changes that emphasize the strength of the Affini are easy to understand - an accepted axiom of the setting that the Affini Always Win, and rewriting the backstory to make the defeat all the more crushing is in line with that idea. Making the Affini a touch gentler is a strange choice for an erohorror story - after all, this is a HORROR story, I'm not sure why there would be a need to tone down how awful things are.

To us, the most thought-provoking changes are the changes to the characterization of Elvira and the Accord.

What is the purpose of making sure the reader knows the Terran Accord was a fascist regime, specifically? Why do we need to know that Elvira is a proud patriot? Why is she no longer a refugee, and instead a rebel that pushed for her ship to refuse a ceasefire? She's just as powerless as a captive in both versions of the story - the Affini are truly holding all the cards. Why would the author go back and try to convince us that Elvira is kind of a bad person?

Does the author want us to think that, maybe, she kind of deserves this?

Tags: blog

Author: Lulu

Date: Tuesday July 14th, 2026



Ch. 2 - Untenable Defiance / Untenable Defiance

Elvira makes her first escape attempt, and Akash introduces her to the Affini brand of sexual assault. Wait, aren't they supposed to be the "good guys"?

Synopsis:

Elvira awakes, unrestrained, bruised, and not yet sober. She swipes a small knife, cuts her cuffs and collar, and slips out while the door opens. Elvira is caught and disarmed immediately by Akash. The Affini injects Elvira with a touch- and desire-enhancing drug, and the human is horrified by the idea of being part of her captor’s reproductive cycle. The toxin floods Elvira’s system and subverts her mind, she is made to beg for her new mistress’ touch, and the Akash finds joy in her pet’s weakening resolve.

Changes:

Not many changes at the opening. The scale of the room is adjusted to emphasize the size difference, Akash’s footsteps are replaced with the rustling of her foliage. “I’ll get you your xenodrugs” is changed to “I’ll get you your medicine”. A small but impactful change comes when Akash injects Elvira after her quickly-foiled escape attempt:

“’You know, this isn’t exactly following procedure, but you’ve destroyed your cuffs and you do need to be calmed down..” A flowered vine moves in front of Elvira’s vision, the tip splaying open, revealing a thin needle-like structure, dripping with a dark blue fluid.”

Sinister!

“’You know, I was saving this to use as a reward, but you’ve destroyed your cuffs and you do need to be calmed down…” A flowered vine moves in front of Elvira’s vision, the tip splaying open, revealing a thin needle-like pistil, dripping with a dark blue fluid.”

A little less sinister. Having an alien state that she’s “not exactly following procedure” when she drugs the protagonist implies a degree of risk and carelessness towards her well being – changing that to “I was saving this treat for later, but I guess you can have it now!” doesn’t quite have the same effect. The story loses another rough edge.

Up next, Akash finishes restraining Elvira, and Elvira starts to really feel the effects of the drug.

“‘F-fuck..’ Almost yelling, Elvira shakes as Akash’s hands brush past her legs. As the ankle cuffs click into place, the shaking human hugs herself tightly, curling her legs onto the bed and against herself.

‘Darling, are you alright?’”

And the revised version:

“‘F-fuck…’Almost yelling, Elvira shakes as Akash’s hands brush past her legs. As the ankle cuffs click into place, the shaking human hugs herself tightly, curling her legs onto the bed and against herself.

‘Just one more, little pet.’ The affini holds out a fresh collar, and without so much as asking, wraps it around the human’s neck.

Elvira whimpers needily, hands immediately flying to her neck’s new adornment to try and find some way to remove the collar, but she can’t find even the trace of a seam.

Groaning as her eyes continue to defocus, she rolls over on the bed, facing away from Akash. She doesn’t want to be seen, can’t let herself be seen in such a pathetic state by her captor.

‘Darling, are you alright?’”

This is a solid addition, adding a collaring scene and putting a light on Elvira’s humiliation in this moment. Good stuff, no notes.

Next,

“‘What did you think I injected you with? Surely you know enough about affini physiology to recognize our pollination cycle~’. The human’s eyes go wide and she screams, in frustration, humiliation, and desire. The mere thought of playing a part in some filthy xeno’s reproductive cycle is entirely anathema to her.”

This passage appears in both versions of the work, unmodified, but I wanted to call attention to it. Here, Akash is letting Elvira know that, not only is she drugged, she’s now involved in the Affini reproductive cycle! It’s horrifying and humiliating! Great stuff, we’ll revisit this later.

Finally, an insertion in the climax of this chapter:

Tears run down Elvira’s face, her fractured will sliding further apart from her wishes. “P-please touch my breasts, my face, my skin, I can’t stand it!”

“You’ve told me what you want, but that’s not how to ask for it, now is it darling?”

And the revised version,

Tears run down Elvira’s face, her fractured will sliding further apart from her wishes. “P-please touch my breasts, my face, my skin, I can’t stand it!”

How can she be begging a revolting xeno, an affini no less, to do this to her? It’s beyond degrading!

“You’ve told me what you want, but that’s not any way to ask for it, now is it darling?”

The mindbreaking begins! Elvira’s will is tested by the drugs forcing her to crave her mistress’s touch! We’ll soon see the first crack in her psyche and the first step on the road to ego annihilation!

Kinda weird that she needs to shit-talk the Affini at this moment, though? I can’t blame her, but is this aside adding much to the scene?

Discussion:

As in the previous chapter, we see the Affini being made more sympathetic, and Elvira hating them a bit more. I’d say the two might balance out, but that’s not really the case; the horror of the situation is undercut by removing some of the danger, and Elvira’s hatred of the Affini doesn’t have much of an emotional impact.

I also want to point out that an element of the story that, apparently, did NOT need to change is Ahask’s use of the phytotoxin and related sexual assault of Elvira. Even with a knife, the Terran girl poses no threat whatsoever to Ahask, and the Affini undoubtedly has no shortage of ways to subdue her new ward. In both versions, Ahask very much chooses to violate Elvira.

If this rewrite is trying to make the Affini the “good guys”, why did they forget about this detail? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think there might be some sort of moral double-standard going on here!